Five years ago you left this world without a goodbye. I wish you had told us you were hurting. I wish so many things were different. It was hard not to get consumed with the “what ifs” and “if onlys” at the time.

I get so mad at you at times. Usually when the kids are tipping me over the edge. I did not sign up to raise our kids without you. It’s hard not to get consumed by the “it wasn’t meant to be this way.”

But we choose to keep moving forward. Not moving on; not getting over it; just taking one day at a time.

Now I concentrate on what you left us with – four incredible children who carry on the best parts of you. I see you in Chance as he solves his Rubik’s Cube; I see you in Quinn when she sticks to her guns; I see you in Darby when he solves problems; and Julius has your affection in spades.

I wish you could be around to see them growing up, I truly do. We will continue to see you in them and the memory of you will live on in them forever.

We will always love you and we will be forever grateful for all the good things you gave to us. xx