I don’t think I’ve ever had a feeling of dread when another birthday comes around. I guess partly because, more often than not, it means planning a party or gathering of some sort. So maybe that distracts me from the fear of “getting older” that some people have. Whatever it is, turning 45 this year has brought nothing but joy and happiness.

I was on the fence about throwing a party this year, but after I realised it was on a Saturday, and when I realised one of my besties Kelly would be here for it, and after another friend of mine strongly encouraged me to, and then Kris & Kate said they would be up for it, it all started falling in to place. My 40th was such a huge and amazing party, and many things have stayed the same since then, but so much has also changed. I decided not to invite as many people this time, but there were still a lot of people there!

Gran and Grumpy contributed so much to the food on the day. Grumpy meticulously made several sushi rolls that were as good as any sushi we’ve ever had. EVER. And his salmon and avo (etc) rolls on the seaweed crackers (which I specifically asked him to make) were as delicious as always! He also tended to a brisket that he smoked for 30 or so hours which was amazing. Dad loves making food for people – it’s his love language for sure, and he gets that from Nanny. Gran made her famous spinach dip cob loaf and baked cheesecake, as well as a heap of other food!

There were so many kids there! Maybe there were as many as at my 40th, but they had all doubled in size so it seemed like there were more?? Whatever the case, they utilised the back shed and yards just the way I had always hoped. We also had the trampoline (which I tried not to watch as there were sometimes eight on there at once!) and we had totem tennis and basketball as well.

Because there were fewer people there, and they came at different times, I was lucky enough to actually sit down and talk to a lot of my guests which I remember not doing much of last time. I even had the presence of mind to take photos while chatting!

Marty also made a brisket, and I made pulled pork as well as a bunch of salads, and the food was very well received. Much like my 40th birthday, I wanted to make a speech that I was mindful and present for. I learned from the experience of that party to go easy on the booze, and make sure I was practicing my breathing before and during the speech. I was so happy with how it went, even though I felt nervous as I was talking, I just knew what I wanted to say and got through it!

And then I really got to relax!! I sat down, and over the next few hours, had drinks and chats with whoever was remaining. There were so many moments during the afternoon and evening that I caught myself feeling so happy with my house. I complain about it and am constantly looking at realestate.com to see if there is something more suited to our family, but having the huge yard and great entertaining areas under the house and carport just cemented my love for it. And Marty’s fairy lights just brought the party vibes out in a big way.

We were in bed by 11pm and instead of feeling unwell and sleeping terribly and waking up with a massive hangover like two years ago after going out for birthday drinks (and I didn’t blog about it for some reason??), I woke up blissfully happy and full of joy, and ready to continue to enjoy my birthday weekend.

We said goodbye to Kelly in the morning, then got stuck in to some tidying and washing of glasses, and then Gran and Grumpy came over with K&K and Darby and Julius and we all got to sit down for leftovers for brunch.

I was just feeling so relaxed and content all day. There was heaps to do but we were in no hurry. Marty is here for most of this week which was an extra blessing to be honest. We got to just chill out for the afternoon, deciding to crack a bottle of bubbly and watch an episode of The Rookie, because why not!?

I really do have a good feeling about this year. A friend of mine wrote this line out of the Poem The Summer Day by Mary Oliver: Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? I really loved thinking about this yesterday. Some days this life certainly feels wild – like right now, I’m at an indoor play centre with seven kids. And many days it feels incredibly precious. I might make this my little mantra for the year. Just to reflect on when life feels monotonous or hard or overwhelming.

Whatever the year brings, I know I’m surrounded by the very best people, and for that I will be forever grateful xx