We have been back from our holiday away in Cairns for a week now, and today, more specifically, this afternoon, was the first time I’ve felt like myself again. The last week has thrown me a lot of emotional rollercoaster rides that I’m guessing are hormone-related, as well as pre-teen related, as well as post-holiday-blues related. We arrived home Sunday afternoon and after an hour or two of unpacking, we decided to head down to the water front for a walk and some unpacking avoidance. Marty was staying until Wednesday and I was so relieved for this. It meant I could ease back in to life slowly after such an amazing holiday (I will blog about it soon! Promise! Here’s a teaser for you!)

But for some reason, Monday hit me really hard. I was in such a funk, and I even had a massage booked that ended up being very disappointing! I was close to tears for most of the day, as well as Tuesday, and instead of allowing myself to have a cry or to at least feel the sadness, I was just really annoyed at myself for feeling that way, especially with Marty around. Only because life is easier and lovelier when he is able to be with us, and I felt like I was wasting it by feeling sad. I kept trying to figure out why I was feeling this way and how to stop. I was also coming down with a bit of a virus and was just feeling really meh. Marty left on Wednesday and after trying to help Quinn through an emotional time, the floodgates opened and I had a HUGE cry in my bedroom. Snotty, messy, heaving, sobbing that went on and on. I felt slightly better after, but also incredibly drained.

I was really busy on Thursday and Friday with school-related stuff, and then we had a HUGE weekend of hanging with friends, watching Marty play footy and more social catch-ups yesterday. I snuck up to Marty’s Saturday night for a total of 16 hours (better than nothing!), had painting with Kate and saw friends yesterday I haven’t seen for a year, including an unexpected catch up with the lovely Erika from Melbourne. She came for the afternoon and stayed for dinner and is just one of those friends I don’t have to entertain. She hung with my kids, stacked my dishwasher and enjoyed the chaos that is dinner time in my house. I told her I was in a funk, but that I knew it would pass eventually.

Today started out low again, and so busy with tuckshop and then I had to do the shopping and then I rode up to the school for assembly and then when I got home something had shifted. Just a little, and just enough to get me started on a few things. I defrosted the big freezer; I started baking batches of muffins (apple and cinnamon, and banana choc) to fill said freezer, and made a few batches of ANZAC bikkie dough to freeze for easy bikkie-making when needed; I made more vegetable stock in the Thermomix; I made a yummy dinner that everyone ate happily; I got around to unpacking the six bags of shopping that I had been dodging all afternoon; and I just started to feel my mood lifting.

And tonight, my feet are aching, I’m exhausted, but I feel like I’m coming out of the fog that I have been in all week. I feel like tomorrow might be a bit better again, though I’ll try not to overdo it. I have a busy few days ahead of me, but I see the light and it is a welcome relief.